When I began improv classes in September, I didn’t have much idea of what I wanted to do with what I was learning other than having a good time. I had no desire to perform. Being in a real improv group–not something I saw myself doing.
Funny how a few months can change things. Doing improv is just so much fun that why wouldn’t I want to perform? So when word got out that my favorite WIT group, Caveat, was holding auditions … I blew it off.
I deleted the e-mails announcing auditions, and I clicked past the webpage with the details. I named off 15 different reasons why I shouldn’t audition and didn’t want to. Yes, I think I want to perform, but not right now. And no way do I feel ready to play with Caveat. They’re just so good!
But. Saying no and making excuses is not why I’m learning improv. I’m doing it because every scene, class, show, potential performance is one more opportunity to push myself a little farther. That’s so terribly cliched, can probably be found in some self-help book in a shelf in Borders. But it’s true. I love the sense of “I don’t think I can do this…whoah! But I did. Holy amazing.”
So I signed up, I showed up, and I played it up! I can’t really say I was too nervous. I just wanted to be able to perform as best I could, just to see what I could. There were only four people in my group, and I knew two of them. It was a very casual, playful experience. I just kept reminding myself, “Jump out! Have fun! Do it! Be anyone or anything but you!” There were players doing funny moves, and so I laughed. And like how it goes in improv, I had some good moments, and I had some moments where I think back and realize I could’ve done it better had I done bolder, stronger choices. I heard in my head, be physical, have emotion, go to your environment. But it’s still tough to remember everything and keep it going. Practicing more, no doubt, I’m sure, will help.
Surprisingly, I was more nervous about playing with people who I think are really good and not so much about being judged by the group’s members. I had two of them as teachers, so I knew they knew my strengths and weaknesses. And the other two guys are way friendly and supportive. I really hope I helped the others in my group play the best they could to.
I’d like to believe that every audition will be as friendly. I doubt that’s the case. Hopefully, when the next set of auditions rolls around, I’ll remain as calm and mindful of doing my best and having fun.
