Gram knows. We all know. There’s no way to turn back this illness or to make it better. Most times, the lungs are the last area to deteriorate. My grandmother has always been special, and this distinction continues on with her during this monster of a disease. It’s attacked the lungs first and with a vengenence. For her to come home, she will need a trach. She can’t go for more than 5 minutes without the BiPAP.
We’re pretty sure that Gram wouldn’t want live this way, even with her brain still strong and capable.
It hurts. A lot. It’s so devastating. It’s so sad. I want to find ways to be positive and hopeful. I want to dwell on the happy times and the 30-some years that she’s been in my life. But it’s really, really, really difficult.
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